Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Little Johnny Mac

Friends of mine lost their baby this past week. I would like to share my friend's blog entry. Please keep Jack and Jessica in your prayers.
After you read this (if you are so inclined) you may also read on to learn how to help these young parents with hospital/medical bills.
I have read this entree 3 times and I cannot finish without sobbing . . . praising God and wanting to be a better Christian.

October 28, 2009 (morning)

You all probably think I’m nuts for being on here now... but this blog has been such a source of comfort and sense-making for us throughout this time in our lives that I hope in my heart it will continue to provide clarity to write and share our story with you.
While I’m not ready to share any “details,” just know LJ was safe in his parents’ arms when he went to be with the Lord. A great friend yesterday painted that sweet picture for us - that our son went right from our arms into the loving arms of Jesus. And what better, more amazing place to be raised than in the indescribable beauty of heaven?

I pray you will never know the loss of a child. It is so many emotions and questions and details and unthinkable decisions wrapped up into a tangled mess of thoughts. I wish someone could just scoop some of the yucky ones out of my brain to make room for the ones I want to keep - like the ritualistic “lobotomy” of a Halloween jack-o-lantern. Leave in there the images, memories, sounds, ideas I want to hold onto forever. That’s why I chose to write this morning.

I know there may be people out there that are confused - that we prayed as one body, we petitioned the Lord for LJ’s health and strength, and his little body gave out anyway. That is one way to live our faith... but what I’ve found is that this kind of faith is only half-hearted and misdirected. How can we in our limited human capacity place a limit on God? How can we place parameters on him? He is greater, more infinite, more expansive, more powerful than we could ever understand. In the midst of a heartbreak such as this, God is still God... even when we don’t understand Him.
My heart is broken today. I feel the most profound and indescribable sadness. But again I remember that God is still God and He loves me more than I could ever write or sing or say. His heart hurts when mine does, which means it’s ripped in two right now. After all, He knows first-hand what it is like to watch a child slip away. Just like ours, His child was blameless and pure. The only difference is that God’s son was sent to save the whole world.

I beg of you - if you have not experienced the life-changing power of the Lord in your heart, please know how much He loves you and cares for you and longs for you to walk with Him. He created you to love Him back. There is a void in our hearts where only our faith in Him can belong. We are not put on this earth to float along like a feather. We ar e put here to serve a purpose - to glorify God’s creation through our earthly hands and feet. I know we won’t ever know the full extent of LJ’s purpose, but what I do know is that every moment of his short sweet life was spent glorifying God through his strength and his story. I am more proud of my son than I could ever describe. His life is an inspiration to me to make mine count - to live my life in a way that God is glorified through my words, my actions, my relationships.

I hope you’ll continue to share in our story. There is something special happening here.

This is my prayer in the battle - when triumph is still on the way.


We have heard from a lot of our friends and family about helping us with our medical expenses, funeral costs, and flowers and we are so thankful for the help and sup port.

We do not know what our medical expenses will be, but if you would like to donate, a very good friend of ours has set up an account at Bank of America for people that would like to help us out. Donations can be mailed to:
Joe Michels

24 Waterway Ave., Suite 500

The Woodlands, TX 77380
Please make checks payable to John Allen or Jessica Allen
We have also set up a site for our friends and family to donate to the March of Dimes. We would prefer that people donate in lieu of sending flowers for L.J.’s memorial service. The link to donate to the March of Dimes in L.J.’s name is:

For all of those who choose to donate to our medical expense fund, when we are finished paying our medical expenses, we will donate all of the remaining money to the March of Dimes and the Ronald McDonald House at Children’s Memorial Hermann Hospital.

Please read Jessica’s entry from today. I feel bad that this post was put at the top because her message is so beautiful.


~Joseph the Worker said...

Thank you or sharing this. I hope we can help just a little.

Soutenus said...

Thank you . . .

bridget {bake at 350} said...

Oh, no. Thanks for sharing their story. As a parent of a preemie, those picture bring back a lot of memories. Praying...

A Nun's Life said...

I am so sorry to hear about LJ. Please be assured of my prayers and the prayers of the IHM Sisters.

Abbey said...

I feel blessed that you shared this with me. LJ's mommie surely had God's angels holding her up so she was able to write about this most tragic event that parents can experience. The photo is precious, and it put faces on all. Their smiling faces at that time, and now such sorrow.

I pray and I know that time will help ease the pain of their loss, though it will never leave them, and it should not. The hole left in their hearts cannot be filled except with the memories, the love, and the enormous faith that this couple hold.

I am lifting them up in prayer, for strength and comfort for them and their families.

Thank you again for sharing.


Soutenus said...

Soutenus said...

Thank you, Sister, Bridget, Seraphina (Joseph the Worker), and Abbey.
The memorial service (they are Methodist) will be this Sunday.
It feels like a month since I posted this. I am torn up inside and I understand that it is not even a minute fraction of what they are going through.

Prayers, prayers prayers for this young couple. . . .
I know little LJ is with God but the heartache of those here on earth -- missing him -- is immense (as in all losses to death).

In Christ,
Soutenus (Peggy)

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